Wednesday, October 7, 2009

You're never too old for acne and pettiness

So I'm turning 35 here in a couple of months, which is quite shocking to me and probably to everyone who knows me and thinks I am gorgeous (not to mention immature). I still feel like I'm 13 years old much of the time, and worse, I act like it on occasion. And, yes, I still have acne, which I find to be a tremendous injustice, right up there with men not having cellulite even when they are obese and of course the genocide in Darfur.

Acne is one thing, but being a small person is another. And I don't mean being a size 2, a dream that died for me in like 7th grade. Seriously I could be starving to death and I'd still be at least a size 6 by virtue of my big bones. Now, see, this is exactly what I am talking about. Why do I still care what size I am?

No, I'm talking about pettiness, taking the low road, acting out of insecurity. Just for example--and this is just one among hundreds--Kevin and I were discussing personality types, with which we are pretty much obsessed. We are like Myers-Briggs experts by now. Our most recent reading on the topic confirmed our long-held theory, that the N-S indicator is the most important for compatibility (who needs a Ph.D. in psychology?). I mentioned a certain, very beautiful friend of mine as being a probable ESFJ. I later found an internet page open, which of course I did not look closely at, because that is too much work--all I saw was INTP (Kevin's type) and ESFJ. I naturally assumed that Kevin was researching his compatibility with my gorgeous friend so he could determine if running off to Fiji with her might be fun. So naturally I confronted him with his horrible misdeed. It turns out he was reading about career choices for his type and ESFJ was included on the same page since it is the exact opposite type. So while he may be thinking of leaving his job to go to Fiji, I don't think he is considering taking this friend of mine. Especially since she is an S.

Or at work the other week, I literally threw a tantrum in my boss's office because someone else was getting to do something that I wanted to do. I was like, "But I want to do that, and I've been here longer." She was like, "Um, you aren't even going to be here that day." And I was like, "But my hologram might could make it." Very mature.

Maybe the acne is a magical curse that will only go away when I finally learn to grow up and get over myself. Ever seen a 90 year old with acne? You will in about 55 years.

1 comment:

  1. Acne? Check. (More than I had in high school.)
    Pettiness? In spades. Sigh.
    Body images? Don't. Get. Me. Started.

    By the way... "But my hologram might could make it..." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! That's effing brilliant. Mature? No. Brilliant. Absolutely.