Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I've had a revelation

I've been kind of down the last few months.  I won't go into the details, and there have been a few legitimate reasons, but I've decided it basically comes down to the fact that I am a spoiled brat.  

Don't try to argue with me, even though I know you are dying to and finding out I am spoiled shakes your entire belief system, but it's true.  The evidence: Even though I have pretty much everything a person could want in life--topped off with the most beautiful, delightful, sleep-loving baby girl ever conceived--I have squandered countless precious moments mourning the loss of my pre-baby life.  What pray tell must this fabulous life have entailed that its passing requires months of grieving? Yachting with celebrities on the French Riviera? The body of a rare non-anorexic supermodel? A rewarding career with Doctors Without Borders helping refugees in Darfur?  

Um, not quite.  Basically, when I really think about it and am honest with myself, I am in mourning over boring, meaningless, aimless sloth.  That's right, I seem to think lying on the couch all day watching all the Indiana Jones movies back-to-back (well, maybe not the 4th one) is a better way to spend one's life than preparing a new human being for the world.   Now, I think it may be true that lying around watching movies is a totally awesome way to spend a day, I don't think it's really an ideal way to spend one's life.  Lives are built for purpose, to reference The Obama's good buddy Rick Warren.  Sloth is not purpose. Self-indulgence is not purpose. Even an overgrown adolescent like myself has to wake up to that eventually.  

But it's tough, especially for we youngest children, to give that up and accept the kind of responsibility parenthood requires.  If you are a youngest child, you feel like people should be taking care of YOU, not the other way around. Responsibility can really wear on a youngest child.  I have never wanted any of it.  In fact I was totally fine staying a child myself.  Yeah, people tell you what to do, but you basically have no worries.  So now I HAVE a child, and she's dependent on ME.  A more frightening prospect I cannot imagine.  Oh wait, I can,  it's called First Man Bill Clinton let loose in the White House without much to do.  We should all give thanks to The Obama for helping us avert that disaster.  

In effort to stop being depressed and spoiled, I am going to follow the decade-old advice of that other font of wisdom and over-inflated expectations, The Oprah, and list things I am thankful for every day.  I'll do it right here on my blog, right after I rant and rave about something that pissed me off that day.  The Oprah would be so proud of me. And that's really what I live for. 

Today I'm thankful for:
1. Charlotte made it to a reasonable bed time without melting down even though she had no afternoon nap.
2. Kevin made it to Turkey safely and sent me an email.
3.  It didn't ice like they said it would.
4. Central heat, a warm blanket and a glass of red wine.  

4 comments:

  1. Having lived in numerous drafty houses, I'm now a BIG fan of central heat.

    I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from the beginning of the series on hulu.com. Last night, I came home and did absolutely nothing but cook dinner and watch back to back episodes. I felt so guilty the entire time for not doing something productive that I was grouchy by bedtime. In my case, sloth was so not worth it. :)

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  2. Yeah -- Chris and I have been through the children debate (although it is probably moot at my age). Knowing how cranky I get when I get only 8 hours of sleep instead of 9 and how frustrated I get when I don't get any time to read a totally trash novel, I am not sure I would be a very good parent. But is sleeping, reading and watching "What Not To Wear" what life is all about?

    PS Does it totally tick you off that the person who has the "hollyb.blogspot" address hasn't posted in FIVE YEARS???

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  3. Ah ... yes .... well, you see ... all is not lost. There will come a day when your child is old enough to sit down one Saturday and watch all the Indiana Jones movies (please - minus the fourth one) with you. The day WILL come and suddenly it is perfectly acceptable to behave like an adolescent once again ... sometimes. :o) Trust me, I act like a total juvenile loon around my boys.

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  4. I agree with Beth on this one as the day has also come for me that I can act incredible juvenile around my children, say, for example, how I responded to something Morgan said last night with "Tough Tacos!" and they are entertained. Kenzie even admitted she reused this phrase with her friends today!

    Also, you can watch those movies you like with your kids. We watched "A Christmas Story" for the first time as a family on Christmas Eve, and it was great! Also watched "Dirty Dancing" with Kenzie recently. :)

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